return my video game
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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