Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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