my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
