It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
