so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
