chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
