this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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