Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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