Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
