Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
