ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
