Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
