I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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