he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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