i was born a porn star she said
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
