Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
