Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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