We're like a lot better than the average bears
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dick very happy bro
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
