My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it glows. i had to have it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
false alarm, still single
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