I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize