I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
