How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
