i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
