bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need to calm my uterus...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
