quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
