cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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