God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
