LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm passing your future prison.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
