Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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