So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
