it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
