I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
