The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
