it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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