Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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