You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize