if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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