Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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