uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize