Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
