did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
