he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
