please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
