Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sext me about skeletons
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
