You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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