I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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