I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
