Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
