So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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