umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
