she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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