At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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