Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
