Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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