Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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