i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
