We won't sleep together?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
