You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
