that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
